Tuesday, April 23, 2019

Re-Inventing Oneself

Lately, I've been seeing many people who aren't happy with one or more aspects of their life. Maybe it's their weight, or a relationship, or their spiritual walk, or maybe they have figured out their life is a farce. When the revelation hits, they seem to freak out and do everything possible to wipe out their former life so they can begin a new one.

I know a few people who fit into this... for one reason or another, they aren't satisfied with something in their everyday existence. Instead of picking up the pieces of the life they feel is shattered, they throw it out the window and try to build it again from the ground up. Unfortunately, this doesn't always work. When you try to begin completely fresh, you still have remnants of the previous life or relationship you are running from. And if you haven't learned where the mistakes are, you just build them right back into the new person you are trying to become.

You can't run from your past. You need to have those pieces present each day so you can meet them head on and remember who you were and why you wanted to change. I'm not saying you have to take them out of their box and play with them every day. I'm saying you need to keep some of those memories so you don't fall back into the same patterns you are working so diligently to get away from.

Contrary to popular belief, this metamorphosis doesn't happen overnight. You can't be a raving lunatic one day and wake up the next morning and say "I've changed, I'm not the horrible person I was when I went to bed last night." You can get up and say, "today I begin the work needed to transform myself into a person people want to have in their life". This is how you know you are honestly trying to make changes in your life.

Deleting your Facebook page, changing your email, creating a new blog for the umpteenth time, getting a new job, or moving for the third time in 6 months will not give you immediate results. Becoming a better person is not something you can go into blindly. You must have your eyes, ears, and heart wide open in order to see, hear and feel the things around you that are working in your life to help you become a better person, friend and human being.

I am and always will be a work in progress. I learn from the mistakes I make, and I try with everything I have to not make those same mistakes again. Yes, I do repeat them, sometimes they can come to you in disguise of a different issue, but in fact, are some of the same problems I've dealt with previously. Do I delete my life and frantically begin anew. NO! I have had the same Facebook page since I signed up on February 27, 2008, I have the same blog and I've kept the same name for it since I launched it back on March 24, 2008.

I *know* I've grown and changed. I don't need to throw away my previous life/mistakes and recreate myself each time I screw something up. With 315 Facebook friends, over half who are actual face to face friends and not just internet buddies, 139 followers to this blog and 106 people who *Like* the Facebook page for Aoibheal's Lair, I gotta believe I'm doing something right.

My changes are daily, I don't shout them from the rooftops, I let them manifest and allow others to notice the differences. I don't run from my past, I don't throw my previous life away and declare I'm a changed person. I just keep growing, changing, evolving...

I don't try to re-invent myself... I am a work in progress.

Friday, April 19, 2019

I See You

Let's Talk About Ego

The ego is the territory of the simple-minded selfish person. And magic cannot be reached when you are thinking of yourself. Magic requires those smarter than those who fall into the pit of me, me, me, me...

Those who consider themselves to be "generational" Witch or who have been practicing for an extended period of time often fall into the trap of ego. Wait!! What?? Yes, if you are constantly telling yourself how great you are and how perfect your life is, you truly do not believe you are capable of being strong enough. You have the need to feel special instead of just accepting your magic and your craft. Boasting about your connection is just one way ego is your weapon against others and a damning to yourself.

When you tell someone how to be a Witch or how to do their magic, your ego is talking. And you have broken the universal law of the Craft of "to each their own". What gives you the right to question anyone's ways of living or doing magic? Nothing. They must learn in their own way and time, no one else can make choices for anyone other than themselves.

Let them learn on their own. And you learn on your own. Stop being "right" and telling them they are "wrong". That's your ego talking, not your Spirit or Guides.

When you learn to let go and stand outside of your ego, you connect fully to your Witch. Those who stand in the universe, those who seem to not be aware of their power because they are fully in their power, the power that is undeniable because they are simply in their power connected to their Gods and Goddesses. That is real power.

Would you rather listen to the voices in your head, stand in your own ego or stand with your Deities Ancestors and Guides?

Wednesday, April 17, 2019

Something New in My World

So ... I've branched out and have created a new blog. This is in addition to keeping posts here.

Here, I'm keeping the posts focused towards all things Witch and not posting personal or opinions. If you want to see more of those types of posts feel free to join me over on Mutterings & Musings.

And yes, RW, you are invited to follow along as well. LOL!!

Wednesday, April 10, 2019

I Am SO Blessed

Every morning when I wake up, even before I get out of my bed, I begin my day by giving thanks to my Deities for all the things they will send to me that day. I know there will be challenges as well as happy portions throughout my day. I accept that I can and willingly meet those moments no matter how they are presented. Some may be more difficult than others and for those battles I know I can turn to my support team.

My family ... I have the most amazing family!

My husband not only sacrifices being at home with us in order to work, but he also is my most ardent supporter. He's my rock and I know I wouldn't be the strong person I've become today without him in my life. He's always telling me to use my magic first in every situation. And when I listen to those words whatever is going on usually works out much faster and easier.

My children ... they each have so much going on in their lives but are always there to hold me up if I stumble or smack me down if I get too arrogant. My grandchildren bring me such joy even though some of them are miles away. OH! I'mma gonna be a GREAT-grandma in September! More on that in another post.

Here's the reason for this post today. I have an amazing small circle of friends and we are all connected via Facebook. Some of them I know face to face in the real world, the others have become such an important part of my life that not meeting them face to face is just one of those hurdles we are working on. No matter what any of us is going through in our personal lives, if one of us needs anything, the wagons are circled even before the call goes out to let them know one of us is down or hurting or in need.

I cannot begin to tell you how it makes me feel when one or the other of them know many times even before I do that I'mma gonna need them on any given day. Outta the blue one of them will message me and let me know they "feel" me even when I haven't quite admitted to myself there may be an issue I need help with.

Each morning, on my way to start the coffee I pause at my altar and relight the candles I have placed there for each of them (I have this phobia about letting anything burn overnight so they are extinguished before I go to bed). As I light the candle I say their name out loud and send blessings to them. If I know they are having a tough time, I send strength and power and LOVE! If I know they are in a good place in their life I send added positive thoughts to bolster them as they make their way.

These women are such a huge part of my life. They are the Sisters I never had. The seven of us combined are a force to be reckoned with and I pity anyone who comes against us!!

I LOVE YOU, Sisters of my Heart!

Wednesday, April 3, 2019


Do you have one? Or maybe more than one? I do and I can truthfully admit knowing what they are and what I do to keep them under control.

For the longest time I would freak out about how many people I had on my Facebook friends list, and when I saw that number decrease I combed through that friends list to find out who had left. Then I found an app that permitted me to follow along with my friends' list and when anyone left, it would notify me. Gods! I can't believe how I "obsessed" over how many friends I had on a social media site. These days, they come, they go and there are very few of those friends that would cause me any tiny bit of worry if they were to walk away without saying goodbye.

I also had a very short freak out over how many people followed this blog, I'd do so many different things to promote myself and the things I wrote about. Now? It just doesn't matter as much anymore. I write for me and if no one chooses to read what I write, that's OK.

I also went through a time when I was OBSESSED with anyone who paid a visit to my Facebook page or blog or Twitter or any of my other social media accounts. I was convinced I had all these fucking people stalking me to see what was going on in my life. Especially after the bruhaha almost 6 years ago when I was accused of being a saboteur. I even added a tracking device here on the blog just so I could find out where people visited from. This particular episode lasted just long enough for me to track a nasty anonymous comment left on a post I wrote about Alpha Females which caused me to write this post in response. Now? I don't care who follows or stalks or is convinced everyfuckingthing I write about is about them.

I do have other obsessions ...

Dark Chocolate ... I LOVE almost anything dark chocolate. But my current favorite is the dark chocolate Reese's peanut butter cup thins. And Russel Stover Maple cream Easter eggs. Even my coffee has undertones of dark chocolate! LOL!

Orange blossom honey in my tea ... When we lived in Arizona my favorite and always go to honey was unfiltered raw made from the blossoms of the Mesquite tree. Unfortunately, I can't get that in North Carolina, BUT with Jimmy driving the BAT all over hell and back I CAN get raw unfiltered Orange blossom honey whenever he goes to Florida.

An organized crafting space ... no matter what I'm working on I NEED a clutter-free workspace. I've got this huge desk that came out of an office and it is perfect for working with any craft I do. Currently, it houses my Silhouette machine, and 2 organizers that keep all the tools pens, and cutting implements handy. At the end of the day when I finish working on whichever project I drug out that morning, I make sure to take time to put everything away, even if I "plan" to come back to it the next day. With the way things go in my world, I never know what the next day brings, LOL!!

The health of my furbaby ... after everything I went through last year with Calliope I made a promise to myself and to Lily that I would take much better care of her. And I have ... poor baby had to have a blood transfusion and stay in the vet hospital for 2 days when she was just barely 8 weeks old. I can't begin to explain how important she is to me and keeping her healthy is probably the one item I won't stop obsessing over any time soon.

I guess my point in all this rambling nonsense is simple. Choose which things in life are important to you and let go of the rest. In the end, those obsessions can and usually do cause more damage than they give positivity. I'll keep the last 4 I listed, and I've let go of the first 3 ... they just don't matter anymore.

Tuesday, March 19, 2019

I'm Grumpy

I probably shouldn't write anything for the public view considering the frame of mind I'm in. But, I have plenty of time on my hands and I've spent enough time on other forms of entertainment today. Y'all just got lucky! LOL!

I have Shingles, every one of you knows I don't do well being sick in any manner. I fight tooth and nail to stay healthy and can usually tell when I'mma about to not feel my best so I can take steps to change the course of whatever thinks it wants to bother me. Shingles snuck up on me and I had NO warning. I woke up Sunday with a small rash on my mid left thigh, I figured I'd been bitten by a spider or some such so I didn't worry too much.

Monday, I woke up and the rash had spread a LOT! It burned, my leg was numb and if I touched it I felt like I was being stabbed with a million needles ... Gods! It HURT! Now, we have amazing insurance but I don't have a primary care physician because I didn't feel the previous one was paying attention to the things I was trying to tell her. The "New Patient Appointment" with the new doctor isn't until April 16th. So, I take myself off to see the nice folks at Fast Med Urgent Care. Yep, good old Dr. Brian confirmed my suspicions and gave me the news "Girl, you have Shingles". Off I go with TWO prescriptions and aftercare orders to take it easy and use Epsom salt baths for topical relief.

So, I'm stuck at home, when I'd rather be doing Oh at least a thousand different things. I can't wear anything that touches the rash cause it hurts like hell. I can't stand or sit or even lay down for more than a few minutes at a time. So, I've spent most of today going from one task or project to the next and not one of them is finished. Yes, even writing this post is being done in pieces parts.

I've spent time on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and read most of the blogs I follow. And I don't know if it's just me and the irritableness of being limited with my activity or if there is really a bunch of stupid going on. Yes, I KNOW the stupid is running rampant in the political arenas, I'm mostly talking about all the plastic shit that should just go in the trash and be left alone.

Did you know it is now a "thing" to post memes declaring how great your life is to somehow ridicule your supposed "stalkers"? I lost count of how many of these things I've seen today. And IMO which we all know is mostly irrelevant to anyone except for me, I find it pretty assinine to worry about who is or is not stalking your page or blog or profile. If you want the world to see how happy you are, just post positive things that are happening in your life and stop baiting others. Every time I see one of these posts it makes me think they haven't grown at all and are still looking for attention no matter if it is positive or not. 

All of my social media accounts are fully viewable to the entire public and I don't make a habit of trying to one-up those who are no longer part of my circle. When I post something snide or snarky it isn't to target any one group of people, I post it because I think it's funny or fits my mood at the time. And if you've made a point to grow, make changes and expand your life and the way you look at things, what are you trying to prove with such childish behavior?

Yes, I'm grumpy today. I'll probably be mostly grumpy for the next couple of weeks until my case of Shingles is at least somewhat manageable for me. Will I write more here? Who knows ... consider this your advance notice of not knowing what may or may not happen here.

Monday, December 31, 2018

Many Years Ago ...

... I became friendly with some fabulous people on MySpace. Those friendships transferred to Facebook when it became the thing to do. Most have fallen off the FB friends list for one reason or the other, some for political reasons, some because life changes and yet others because they left social media altogether. Ending 2018, there were two remaining.

Then, the other day, I got a message from one with screenshots from the other one. The things said in those screenshots were nasty, vile and even could be considered threatening. Somehow, I wasn't shocked at what I read but disgusted at the horrible things that one who calls herself Witch could say to someone she called sister, But there it was in black and white. From her profile, with the timestamp on it.

I've known for a time that these two had some issues. But, since I didn't have regular contact, I left it alone, hoping things would settle. Everyone has days or even months where their life feels like it's on a collision course with everything in the cosmos. During those times we either act out, lash out at those close to us or hide from the world.

Time goes by and there is a calm, then a crisis occurs and a child is harmed either physically or emotionally. Instead of offering support for the difficult decision the parent made to help the child, the nasty, hateful messages are flung far and wide. The child's mother is hurting and the words flung from someone who was supposed to be a friend cut even deeper.

Yes, I seem to have been drug into the drama that wasn't of my own making. I made my choice, I chose the side I stood on and I made the necessary measures to remove myself from further involvement. And I felt good about my choice, no second guessing, no regrets.

This morning I wake up to a message from the one I removed and blocked, using another profile, chastising me for taking the wong side and not hearing both sides to the story. Here's the thing: I didn't need to hear the other side of the story or to give them the benefit of the doubt. I SAW the words with my own eyes, in black & white, timestamped, from their profile.

Perhaps there are some who would say I should have taken the time to get both sides before I acted. And if it had been just the regular she said/she said without the screenshots I might have done just that. I drew my line in the sand, I made my choice and I'm not compromising on this.

My block list on Facebook keeps getting bigger ...

Thursday, December 27, 2018

2019 Word of the Year ~ SOAR

Each year as I'm searching to find that one word for my life, I always seem to struggle to find the word that means something to me. The one that resonates deep within my soul that will be my go to, and to challenge or direct my coming year. Last night while in the bath (you know, that place where I always seem to have the better luck clearing my mind and letting the cosmos guide me) this word came to me. Not just the word itself, but the things associated with it that will guide my year to make me a better person. My word for 2019 is:

The word by itself seems uninspiring. Yes, it can also be empowering. But, as I sat and watched the flickering flame of the candle, clearing my mind and listening to what I was being shown, THIS is what SOAR means for me in the coming year:

Surrender. No, not to give up or let things overwhelm me. But to accept the things coming my way and devise a plan to work with each challenge. Meditate more, deeper and listen to my breathing, relax and be open and working through and with the path I've been shown. 

Observe. Give a name to the energy coursing through me, make it a tangible source. Touch it, feel it and accept the vision as one of substance. This can sometimes be scary for me ... to actually accept and reach out to touch, embrace and accept a new energy, path or direction. Challenge accepted!
Allow. Here is where I face my biggest obstacle, to allow, permit, accept without question or change the emotions and sensations just as they are or the direction of the things I've been given to do. I usually find myself saying "there HAS to be an easier way to do this". Not this time, no, this time I'm going to make an effort to listen and follow exactly as I have been shown to do it.

Release. Letting go of anything that has hurt or made me angry is one of the most difficult things I face each day. I keep everyfuckingthing and drag it out when I feel even the slightest bit annoyed. This year, I'm determined to let things go, to fade away and not unpack them again.

Will I be successful in living my SOAR? Honestly, I can't give you a solid answer to that. But, I can tell you I am going to do my very best to listen and then act accordingly to everything the Cosmos and my Goddesses are telling me.