The other day I was having a conversation with someone who made a random statement about how it is impossible to have real friends in this age of electronics and frenzy. She said she just can't seem to maintain any type of friendship relationship, because people are either too busy with their own personal lives or they are stuck behind a computer monitor or video game. She went on and on and on about how selfish her friends are and I have to be honest after listening to her whine, I wouldn't want to be her friend either.
This made me stop and really think about what she said and evaluate my life and my friendships.
Here is the *I* clause... The one that's all about me and what *I* do:
Yes, I am busy. No I don't work outside my home, I do take care of Ravyn 5 days a week for 9 hours each of those days. Along with this I make sure my house is clean, I cannot stand to live in clutter. I have a place for everything and try my best to keep things put where they belong. Sometimes I succeed, others not so much. I make sure our bills are paid on time, I take care of my husband when he is home. I take care of our fur babies and in a limited way, I also take care of some of the plants outside.
I'm also a full time college student maintaining a 3.9GPA. The degree program I'm enrolled in is for Complementary and Alternate Health with a minor in Entrepreneurship. It's a LOT of work, but I'm passionate about this and dedicate MUCH of my time to making sure I know the material and then doing the work required to *honestly* earn a bachelor's degree. At the end when I have my degree in hand, my ultimate goal is to have a Wellness Center offering options to western medicine for health care .
Here is the how I feel about my friends:
I have quite a few friends, personal, close friends who have been part of my life for many years. My BFF lives in Maryland, we have been friends and Spirit Sisters since 2004. Even though I moved away from MD in 2006, we still talk constantly, she knows when I *need* her, no matter the situation. I can't imagine my life without her. And on the other hand, I'm there at the other end of the phone or computer monitor when ever she needs me. I value this friendship and do everything I possibly can to nurture it...
Which brings me to the next point... I nurture each and every relationship I'm in. Whether it's a face to face relationship or an electronic relationship doesn't make any difference. BOTH get the same from me. I refuse to judge anyone for the way they believe about ANY subject. I have my own beliefs and when or if one of my friends and I can't agree with the other, it doesn't cause us to get all pissy and blow off the relationship. We choose to learn and grow from our differences. I don't expect everyone to agree with me and my feeling or beliefs, and I certainly don't completely agree with those of my friends.
So why is it so difficult for this person (the one who got me thinking) to make lasting friendships? I've talked to her a few times, so in my not so professional opinion, I feel she is too needy. Every conversation must be about her, she has no respect for any others ideas or opinions. No matter that she thinks she's the best friend going, if people won't stay around her and the drama that just rolls off her, she is the one with the issues and needs to do some deep soul searching to figure out how to change.
It doesn't matter if you feel your life is going good and you feel good about yourself (that's a form of narcissism) if others don't want to be around you for any period of time, there is definitely something not quite right with the inner you.
My friends, ALL of them, are very important to me! I love them all, whether I know them face to face, or they are on the other end of my computer monitor or a text message or email. Each of them have feelings I try to be aware of, each have family or relationship issues of some sort, and each of them have their down or low moments. It doesn't matter what mood they are in, I still love them. And they all know, no matter what is going on in my life, when they call me for ANYTHING, I'm there for each of them... NO QUESTIONS ASKED!