Thursday, February 6, 2014

Thoughts on a Thursday ~ Reflections . . .


With Mercury going retrograde today at 4:43 pm, I'm already feeling the effects. They began on Sunday (my birthday), feeling anxious and then lethargic. Monday was a *bleh* day and yesterday I went through everything in the master bedroom and bathroom on a wild tangent, rearranging, reorganizing and removing (all those RE's) things that no longer fit with the revised path we see ourselves walking on.

There have been many times during Mercury Rx that I become a raving lunatic, I ride an emotional roller coaster and it's very difficult for anyone to be around me. I used to fight the things I was feeling and that just compounded them, made everything more difficult to deal with. Thankfully I have found a way to work with the retrograde instead of fighting it. While most people will tell you do nothing that could have a lasting impression on your future, don't sign any contracts, don't make travel arrangements and make sure all your electronics are backed up cause sure as shit one of them will crash, I've found if I consciously look the retrograde in the face, I can usually make it through without taking someone's head off. My secret you ask. It's not a secret, it's just my way of dealing with the calamity that normally comes with Mercury Rx. I increase my daily meditation period from 15 to 30 minutes, I drink LOTS of water and cut down on the caffeine, and I diligently work at eating less processed foods while increasing fresh fruit and vegetables. OH! I also eat a lot of red meat.  Yeah, I know this is not a normal regimen, but it works for me and that's what counts!

I've also been making some changes in my *online* life. This time last year I had over 600 people on my Facebook friends list. I removed many of them over the summer, some of them were cut with no explanation. I felt betrayed by so many and chose to remove those who may have had a connection, even if that connection was minuscule or only in my hurting heart. Over this past weekend I removed some more, mostly those I hadn't had any contact with in a while or who hadn't posted to their own profile since some time last year. You know, the inactive friends. I've reduced my friends list to less than 300 people. Now before someone makes a comment about sure Vickie, they removed you. Let me be very clear. Yes, a number of people left my friends list by their choice. However, I very quickly removed over 50 people within the first 12 hours of the conflict. At the end, I still had over 500 Facebook friends. This most recent culling has brought a huge sense of relief and more peace than I could have imagined. I like the *intimate* feel and the ability to keep up with what is going on with more than just a handful of the friends who posted on a more regular basis which put them front and center in my News Feed.

Jimmy & I were talking this past weekend while he was home about where we are and where we want to be this time next year. Our desire, dream, plan, hope... was to be able to move back to Maryland sooner rather than later. We have come to the conclusion that isn't going to happen for a while, simply because custody issues in NC take an act of God to modify even for the simplest of things. As this conversation progressed we both came to the same conclusion. We both are over having to *hide* who we are and what we believe. We want our life back, the one we had in AZ when we first got together and the one we continued to live in Maryland. When we moved here it was like we let our light go out and we've been fumbling around in the darkness. He's asked me to find some of the artwork we previously had on our walls and if I can't find the exact prints to see if I can find something that would be a close second. He's also asked for a Green man sculpture and I want him to have some dragons. He's always had a *fascination* for dragons and right before Yule found he at one time in a previous life was a Dragon Lord. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I was when he spoke those words to me.

So, we've had some intense conversations, we are on the same page, and ready to move forward and embrace whatever the future holds for us. Our first step will be to find a place for him to set up his own altar and find the items he feels drawn to. I guide him as I can, but there are things I *know* (have been told by my Deity) but cannot share until Jimmy finds that which has been hidden. At times I feel it's a very slow process, but then I remind myself that I've been on this road for 12 years and even though he has been open, he never fully embraced his calling. So, now it is my time to mentor and advise. There are other times when I learn something from him, usually just in conversation but he gives such energy with everything he does. So, bit by bit, step by step, we make changes. We are ever evolving and growing. I am so happy to have my partner, best friend and husband walking this same path with me.

I'm excited to see the coming changes to our life, our house, and our yard, and the entire world around us ...