Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Tuesday's Twists & Turns
Did you hear what she said about you?
How many times have you heard this and automatically assume it's got to be something negative? I confess, I am guilty of that very thing. Any time someone comes to me and opens up with this statement I want to think the worst thing imaginable. She's got some nerve talking about me, she has no idea what I'm doing, or how my life is going. How dare she assume to know anything about me or mine, I'm gonna cut a bitch... yeah.
Most of us are inherently programmed to jump to the wrong conclusion simply because of the world we live in and the people we have allowed into our life ... up to this point. For instance, each time I hear my soon to be ex SIL's name come out of anyone's mouth, I figure there is just one more piece of idiocy to add to his repertoire. Because I *KNOW* this person and know how he works, I believe he has no validity in anything he says.
When you hear those words, it's also probable you will shut out the rest of the comment simply because you refuse to believe there is anything positive coming. Many, many times we as humans retreat into our safe harbor of what we consider justified anger and indignation, especially if the person being spoken about has *wronged* us in the past. Once this happens, it is nigh on impossible to hear, let alone accept the actual words and emotions behind what is coming next. Many times jumping to conclusions without knowing all the facts and then sticking to your story no matter what you have been shown is the only way we know how to survive.
But what would happen if we didn't jump to any conclusions? What if those words were actually in praise of something you did or said? What if you actually inspired someone to be a better person or do something productive instead of destructive and they wanted to tell all their friends what a positive impact you had on their lives??
As a Pagan we are supposed to be less judgmental and more understanding, as a mother and grandmother, I try every day to find the positive in my surroundings, instead of always looking for the commonplace judgmental behavior so rampant in the mundane world. I've also found many others who feel and live the way I try to live. They actually take the time to LISTEN to what someone has to say instead of jumping. This is my greatest challenge, I've been known to be quick to jump into a conversation, I've also been more than quick to form opinions without having all the information and it's even more difficult for me to back down once I've made a judgment call.
Even though those who may have thought they know me still carry their judgment of my actions, did they really take the time to ask and then listen to what happened? Do you ever really give someone your entire undivided attention when you *know* them to be wrong? Before now, I have been guilty of this type of behavior myself. This is one of those things I'm working on in order to be a better person, be more compassionate and understanding, and be the type of person I want my grandchildren to look up to.
Stop looking for the negative in everyday words and deeds. Stop judging those you ascertain to be less worthy of your consideration. Stop living in your glass house way up high on that pedestal, one of these days it's libel to come crashing down around you. Instead, be a beacon that draws positive people into your light, and the next time you hear those fateful words *OMG! Did you hear what she said about you?*, you will be open to receiving the message in its entirety as it was meant to be given.