Seasonal Affective Disorder
The definition of this according to WebMD states "SAD is a type of depression that affects a person during the same season each year". Because I grew up and lived most of my life in Arizona I had no idea what SAD was. Even when living in Maryland I wasn't affected by the winter, however, after we moved to Michigan and fully experienced a long, hard, cold, dark, dismal winter for the very first time, I became very familiar with seasonal depression. There were days and days I refused to leave my bed and the farthest I got away from it was to the kitchen for coffee or tea. If I had a *good* day you would find me across the hall from the master bedroom in my Witchy room, listening to music, burning incense, candles and staring out the window watching the never-ending snow falling. It was during one of these periods a friend encouraged me to write about my feelings, and thus Aoibheal's Lair was conceived.
Living in North Carolina, I don't normally have a problem with the seasons other than getting impatient for the Spring and warmer weather to come back. For some reason, it seems this winter has been longer, darker and wetter than the past 6 years we've been here. We've had a measurable amount of snow on two different occasions, which wouldn't normally bother me simply because it melts in a day or two. But, we've also had an overwhelming amount of rain. Then you add in the stress of having Jimmy on the road in areas where they have an abundance of snow and ice which causes a multitude of deadly traffic accidents and the realization that even though he is safely parked either in a truck stop or here at home, when those wheels aren't turning we make no money so the bills can't be paid, that compounds the worry and fear which leads to the depression descending on me.
Wednesday was one of those days. I woke up to dark rainy skies and they lasted the entire day. I wanted to stay curled up in my blankets, but Tanya had to work for part of the day, so I was up taking care of the Witchling. It was tough, tougher than I've had in a while. Everything I saw or even touched made me miserable. I have a pile of crafting things in our bedroom that are just waiting for the creative energies to begin flowing, I've put them off for more time than I should. I know I *need* to get my shit together and open Aoibheal's Attic again. The weather forecast for Hope Mills is calling for more rain until at least Saturday, then it's supposed to be sunny and a bit warmer for the weekend.
Yeah, I'm having a poor pity me party. They don't come around very often but when they do, they are at least for me, debilitating ...