Wednesday, July 12, 2017

30 Days of Truth~Day 11

Something People Compliment You On The Most

When I decided I was going to do this challenge again, I said I'd try to find the entries from 2011 when I did it the first time. I found some of them, not all 30 days. I wanted to see if my feelings, thoughts, decisions, actions had changed at all.

30 Days of Truth ~ Day 11 ~ Something People Compliment You On The Most(Original Post-July 25, 2011)

Most people compliment me on my attitude or outlook. I, for the most part, try to find the good in all things.

I'm an optimist, my glass is half full. And I really don't like it when others are the ones with the glass half empty because I feel they are "jinxing" the outcome of whatever situation is at hand.

I've learned to live in the moment, yes, I still have my hopes and dreams, and I give voice to them on a regular basis. BUT, I don't run around screaming if a hope or dream doesn't manifest.

Life isn't always a bed of roses for me, I'm unemployed, again. So many of the things I wanted to do have once again been placed on the back burner. When this happens, I just change course and find the small blessings that have been placed before me.

Tonight was a perfect example. It has been so hot and humid here for the past week or so, thunderstorms all around us. We didn't get any rain or relief. Today, late afternoon, early evening I began to hear the rumble of thunder and just "knew" in my heart we would get a bit of relief. It didn't rain a lot, just a few sprinkles, but the temperature did cool down more than enough to sit outside and enjoy the evening.

It's still thundering in the distance, I don't think we will get any more rain, but the few sprinkles we did get were enough to put a smile in my heart and on my face.

Optimism. Yes, I am most often complimented on my outlook...

Current Post

Recently, someone complimented on my self-confidence. I will admit, it has been a rollercoaster for me to hang onto that aspect. For SO many years, I was in relationships where I was beaten down, both physically and emotionally. I couldn't figure out how to get out of that cycle, so I just continued to make the same mistakes over and over.

Once I figured out what was happening I built a wall around me and let NO ONE inside, seriously. Inside that wall I was safe, free from hurt and emotional crisis ...who am I kidding? I was alone, miserable. But I was safe. No one could put me down and send me into the blubbering foolishness I use to live in.

Then one day, into my life walked this amazing man who didn't want to control me, didn't want to own me and didn't want to make me over into his idea of who I should be. This man set me free. It took him a long time to gain my trust, for me to let him begin taking that wall apart brick by brick. He had more patience than anyone I've ever known. He asked questions, listened when I had something to say and even encouraged me to explore the outside world and live.

It has taken 16 years to overcome a lifetime of self-doubt, it's been done, it's amazing and if I ever find myself starting to fall back into those old safe habits, I'm loudly reminded I am free, I am a force to behold and I'm never going to be locked away again.

Self-confidence? Yeah, that's me, and I humbly accept the compliments when someone else sees that in me.