Sunday, July 9, 2017

30 Days of Truth~Day 8

Someone Who Has Made Your Life Hell or Treated You Badly

When I decided I was going to do this challenge again, I said I'd try to find the entries from 2011 when I did it the first time. I found some of them, not all 30 days. I wanted to see if my feelings, thoughts, decisions, actions had changed at all.

30 Days of Truth~Something You Have to Forgive Yourself For (Original post-July 22, 2011)

Do 4 ex-husbands and 2 ex-wives count?? LOL!!

Seriously though, most people have an ex somewhere...ex-husband, ex-wife, ex-boyfriend, ex-girlfriend. And if any one of yours comes even close to the ex's in my life, you can relate to how I feel.

Ex #1 was abusive, both physically and emotionally. I was 17 when we got married and it didn't take long for me to figure out I wasn't gonna be sticking around in that relationship for any length of time. And the ONLY good thing that came from that ex , is my amazing, talented and beautiful eldest daughter. I am SO proud of her.

Ex #2 was ..hmmmmm ... let's just say, he was another bad choice on my part. BUT I did manage to find some good there. My second daughter and my son. They have both been through some tough times in their lives, but I can honestly say, they are such a blessing to me and I am more than proud of them and the choices they have made in their lives.

Ex #3... I met him BEFORE I married #1 while I was still in HS. I probably should have left it in HS. I still can't comprehend how a man can be and do the things he did BUT do a complete reversal around his family. We went from being a rodeo couple, living the wild life, to zero within 3 months after we married. Which BTW, his parents really didn't approve of and they made it very well known to me every time we were in the same room.

This brings us to Ex #4. A Momma's boy...and anyone who has dated or been involved with a Momma's boy knows exactly what I'm talking about. She was in our business ALL the time. From how I cleaned my house, to what I fed my family. And she was NEVER happy.

This one lasted the longest...almost 14 years. But in the end, I just couldn't deal with the way I was living. Stifled. Unfulfilled. Unhappy. And when I did make the decision to remove him from my life, he went out of his way to make MY life a living hell. Even going so far as to contact all my (not our) friends and family (people I had known more than 30 years) and outright LIE to them. He even for a short period of time was able to turn my children against me. I lost a very nice job because of him, and ended up leaving everything I knew so I could just get away from him and his obsession of "getting even with me".

I left my home, my family, my house and ALL it's contents and moved all the way across the country (from Arizona to Maryland) just to keep from killing this man and going to prison for the rest of my life. That's how miserable he made me. And to this day, he or ex wife #2 will occasionally find a way to creep back into my life and try to irritate the shit outta me again.

It's taken a while, but I've been able to restore most of the relationships he destroyed...there's still one or two who won't speak to me and think I'm lower than dirt. And only one that continues to hurt...

So, yeah, I gotta say Ex #4 is the ONE person who has made my life hell

Current Post 

I can add a couple more people to this post. One of them is still, to this day an albatross I can't seem to shake.

A few years ago, I wanted to part of the in-crowd and be friends with the "popular" witches. I honestly can't explain why I thought this was something I should have in my life. Thank the Gods I quickly came to my senses and remembered I didn't like the popular crowd in High School and this group wasn't any different. In fact, they were the perfect stereotype of "mean girls". Bullying, backstabbing and just plain ugly. So, just a little over a year and I decided my time as a "mean girl Witch" was more than enough for me, I left that group and have never regretted that choice.

Since then, there have been a few random occasional instances where one or more of them thought it was their given duty to police my actions on social media, and one of them continues to try and make my life miserable in the real world. I'm not sure why they think it's necessary to dog me, they are contemporaries in age and experience but act like they are 13 and still in Jr. High School with the cliques and groupies and gossip and slam books (remember those?).

Once I left that bunch, I also left a few people I respected and called friend who, I had hoped would be able to see through the trash those others talked, but that didn't happen. Many are still living in the fog. Fortunately, the ones I cared about finally left and eventually we have reconnected, making our time with the Mean Girl Witches a learning experience which has in turn given us the bond of friendship that even gossip hasn't been able to shake.