Friday, July 27, 2018

Tempest in A Teacup

This image was in my memories over on Facebook and when I saw it I once again almost fell out of my chair I was laughing SO damn hard! I have quite a few people who are constantly running off at the mouth in their attempt to remain relevant. And each time I run across one of them, I shake my head and laugh all the louder. 

"For those who are trying to stay relevant but miss the mark every time, LOL! You know we ALL got someone in our life who this fits, so THANKS, to The Oogie Boogie Witch for bringing a smile to us today. Love you tons!"

No, I'm not important to anyone but myself and my family. Yes, I have many friends who would contradict that, however, I can't convince myself I have that much pull and sway as to believe I am an influence of any sort. I do me and if that helps someone in any way, it's all good. I do not set out to influence people in any manner. I share what is in my heart and the things the Gods have given me. 

Those who scream the loudest are often discounted, you know much like the story of the "Boy Who Cried, Wolf". There is one who freaks out so often I've taken to scrolling past her posts because they are to me just a way for her to garner attention. She has few friends and is always "innocently" begging for someone to hang out with. OK, maybe not so innocently, because she posts how she is lonely and has no one close to her. She wants to have a good friend to get coffee with, or go to the movies or just hang out. And I fully believe she invents things that frighten her just so she can get that little bit of extra attention. Once she falls down this rabbit hole, she locks everything down and hides from the world. She changes everything about her so often I don't think she's given herself time to get used to the new. New clothes, new hairstyle, new makeup, new diet or way of eating, new blog, new emails, new ...just new. 

IMO, I believe she is truly miserable in her life and has no idea how to find the happiness she so desperately is searching for. Why do people do this to themselves? Why is it so difficult to love themselves just as they are? I don't have an answer, but I do know how my experience has shaped the things I now do.

I stopped listening to the voices in my head, the ones that told me I was nothing, I wasn't worthy and I'd never be anything. Yes, I had these thoughts all the time. Why? Because this is how my ex-husbands would treat me. I lived under the fist of patriarchy for most of my life and never knew any better. Yes, my parents always told me to make my own decisions, but those decisions usually fell in line behind one of their ideas, not one I had formed on my own. I didn't begin exercising my right to free thinking until I moved away from Arizona in 2002 and put everything I had ever known to be in a box, in the darkest corner of the closet and left them there. 

At 46 years of age, I woke up, I grew up, I learned about life and how wonderful it is to be able to see. I see everything, the good and the bad. I have no illusions that my world is perfect, far from it, I work hard each day to not fall back into the old ingrained habits I lived with all my life, and I strive to make a difference in my portion of the world, the part that includes my husband, my children, my grandchildren and my friends. 

No, I don't see myself as an influencer, but I can say I am living my life fully, happily and with more love and peace than I have ever known.